I believe we’re often growing more when alone.
The simple fact is: we are still healing, from our collective past of great suffering. And because of that fact - relationships can be tough.
Everywhere on earth there has been famine, poverty, even slavery. And especially many men today are healing, because men got sent to war.
So should we even be in relationship? How can we know if we are ready? How can we ensure that our next relationship isn't just endless drama?
I had been single a long time. And at about 5 years into single life, I got frustrated with the situation and I began learning from dating coaches online. Here in this article I share some things I have learned from focusing on this area of woman and dating for the last few years.
There's a lot of pressure on us dudes. Every guy has felt it: pay for the dates, have six pack abs, and you're expected to approach her and make the moves, and do it gracefully, lest you be called a creep.
And there's pressure on women, too. I've heard, "Women are socialized to be sex objects, Men are socialized to be success objects".
Time flies! Until one day you're 42 and going, "Wow, I've learned a few things"...
"Look At Their Body, Heart and Mind"
I have heard that desire is the most dominant energy on earth. So we tend to become spellbound by this energy of desire. We get taken in by this emotion that comes over us, we become idealistic, and we start picturing moving in together, having great sex, or making babies... even though it's only the 2nd date. We create so much expectation and 'love' around the relationship, that we fail to notice how much they *dont* fit us.
And that happens to me too. One time, I was riding the bus, spellbound by a women's body... when a heard a whisper say, "Don't just look at her body." We want to look at their body, heart, and mind.
In looking at their heart, you're looking at their quality: are they more emotional, fiery, or more serene? Do they have a big heart that thinks a lot about others a lot, or are they more self-concerned? And look at their mind too: are they more broad-minded and open-minded? Or do they think in more narrow, repeating ways?