Is Fb making you lose your head? In this blog I'll first give some simple suggestions, then I'll look deeper at the whole Fb fixation and it's solutions.
1. Turn off all push notifications. You can do that in the Fb app, under settings, or under settings in your browser window on your pc. If someone really wants to talk to you, they will send a PM. This way *you* have to go to Fb, Fb won't be sending things to you.
2. Put the people who most inspire you at the top of your news feed. You can do that by going to their page and clicking the arrow to the right of 'following', under their banner.
3. 'Unfollow' people who continuously post things that don't matter to you, or people who you hardly know. Your newsfeed will then be more relevant to you.
4. Find other means that replace what Fb does for you:
a) News and entertainment: find a site that is a source of relevant news. Use Google Play to rent movies, or watch Netflix. Btw, one Netflix account can have multiple users.
b) Connect with your friends more in person or by phone. Go to social events.
c) Service: instead of communicating with your customers via Fb, stay in touch with them via email.
d) get on LinkedIn - much less chatty than Fb.
5. Two guidelines around commenting:
a) Is my comment truly helpful, practical? If not, don't comment. Commenting can start a dialogue, keeping you on Fb more.
b) Don't debate. If someone disagrees with you, don't reply. You already said your piece, Many people aren't truly open - a debate will accomplish nothing, and the medium of Fb doesn't communicate tone of voice - misunderstandings happen easily.
6. Take Fb off your phone, only use it on your computer. I don't mind having it on my phone, personally.
7. Put your wifi router on a timer. It goes off at 10p and on again at 7a. Also plan what you will do instead: have a book to read before bed (the library is free!), practice a musical instrument, do some yin yoga, or meditation. Get a friend and make this commitment together.
8. Consider a Fb fast, or a computer fast, to remind yourself how great life is without Fb. A great time to do this is in the summer... go camping!
My next suggestions are about how we can keep our attention on the things that really make life worth living, which we know isn't Fb.
If you're finding Fb has become a problem, then ask yourself:
a) Am I too alone in my life?
b) Am I using Fb as a way to hide from some big decisions or fears?
If you answered yes, the following strategies may help!
1. Clarify and visualize your top goals/desires often. See yourself in your desired future - Fear dissapears when we can see things working out in our minds eye. Clear, specific images will motivate and pull you into the action to achieve it. If you haven't seen it in awhile, watch The Secret, and make a Vision Board. The Secret is not about materialism, it's about the creative use of mind, training yourself to eliminate all negativity from your mind and emotions and focusing on what you want.
2. Make a list of all the activities that are important to you, then put them in order of priority. Post this up on your computer screen. You may be surprised to find that you are doing too much! Which is a recipe for frustration...since none of them move forward very quickly, so you feel dissatisfied, and end up on Fb to make yourself feel better! Notice that Fb is near the bottom.
3. If you're too alone, schedule connection into your week. Invite friends over for a potluck or massage jam, or show and tell :-).
4. Watch movies and things that wake your heart up to the suffering in the world. After I saw the movie "Spotlight" (about sexual abuse in the Catholic church), I felt so much caring...I felt there is so much work to do. I don't have any time to waste. We will often do more for others than we will for ourselves, it can help bring out your best. So don't avoid the reality of suffering in this world.
5. Meditate. Meditation renews your balanced state of calm and clarity, which means it increases your self-control - and makes you more aware of what matters. Its quite amazing really. In a state of calm and balance you are more likely to "use" Fb, and not let it use you. But if you find meditation hard, as many do, try doing some yoga first, meditating on OM"s on the out-breath, or try one of the many popular meditation apps, like Insight TImer.
6. Connect with great leadership often. I find that my main mentor encourages me often to calm down, to eat well, to do yoga, and so on, and I find that this encouragement really helps. So tune in to someone great often. This could even be on You Tube, but I find that having someone who knows me personally is the best way to go - and this is why I do Health Coaching - it really helps people. (and yes, I am You Tube: Donovan Giraud).
7. Eat better, more consistently. Low blood sugar or a high level of inflammation give us FLC syndrome ("Feel Like Crap"). And FLC syndrome makes you seek something to feel better - Fb, Netflix, porn, or worse. We want to evolve into more positive ways to make ourselves feel better: do some meditation, some yoga, take some flower essences, or eat a healthy version of your favourite food.
Its not 'Should I get off Fb?', it's really 'Am I moving forward in my life?'. We all need to feel that we are moving forward in our lives. If you have been feeling stuck or stagnant for a while, consider trying some of the above strategies, or:
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